My opinion is to keep the original simple and, as your life together grows, celebrate with the bigger diamond THEN. If God forbid! I remarried, it would definitely be VERY small with just a handful of close friends, a nice dress and a nice dinner. You can still have a beautiful dress and a church wedding without having to fill all the seats! I am a woman, yet i CANNOT understand why ever other woman in the world is somehow genetically programmed to do ga-ga, no expense spared, when it comes to planning a wedding.
You can still marry your honey and make it a special day without losing all rationality. I think that the plan of giving the couple a set amount of money and letting them spend it usually works best in this day and age. My parents gave my sister and I about the same amount of money- she had the lavish reception with plated dinner, etc. Also, many people feel obligated to invite a lot of people. We invited many, but only about 75 came. I am currently planning my wedding and I believe that it can be done in a more frugal manner than most.
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I have a friend who rented me her beach cabin for the entire weekend for free so that we could get married on the beach. We are arranging the flowers and making the invitations ourselves. Our guest list is around 75 people and my fiance cashed in his air miles on his credit card for our honeymoon! We never had a fight and I stayed sensible.
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My parents only allowed what they were willing to pay cash for and not go into any savings accounts. I have friends who have put their weddings on multiple credit cards or whose parents have stupidly emptied their retirement funds for. I must also add that neither my husband nor I had any debt to our names, other than the homes that we separately owned at the time.
Hi I am a mom and I do dream of My 17 year old looking like a princess when she gets married After College of course! BUT I also know that she can and will look like a princess without having to meet the national debt! All the women on each side got together and we each made or fixed the thing or things we were good at and you know she and her sister Made of Honor Looked like two princesses. If it is HER day, a mature response is to think of all the other people who are arranging their schedules in order to attend and buy gifts, etc.
I hope that they go on to have many more happy days. Having said that, rituals evolve for a reason.
I've spent over $20,000 to attend weddings, and I just don't get the elaborate wedding hype.
The big wedding used to make sense IMO, especially in a time when family members helped in making a lot of the food and the couple was so young that they were establishing their first household and needed all those gifts. All rituals are focused around a time in life that is important, a time of transition for a number of people, like the parents of the bride and groom. The event, planning the event, gives an opportunity to talk about things.
A father may have dreamed for years about walking his beautiful daughter down the aisle. And can ultimately suffice. The ritual can still be meaningful. My parents were very fair to set that money aside for all kids — not just us girls! Though I wish they had done it sooner, as my little brothers got so many more years of the power of compounding interest!! I got married and my husband paid me to let him sleep with another woman. I was fine with until I realized it was going to be everyday.
I did make twenty bucks! Honestly, yes I do think weddings can be a waste of money.
I am married myself, but DH and I got married by a justice of the peace in a simple backyard ceremony and then took a four day cruise for our honeymoon in We did get some money that my father gave us and we used that as an emergency fund in our savings account. My younger sister and her fiance eloped about five years ago and got married in Vegas while they were both on leave from the Air Force.
They are both very nontraditional and were able to do things the way they wanted—my sister got married in a metallic gown and black combat boots! I thought that was perfect for them and they are happy to this day. They have a cute little house in TN now. Unfortunately, several of my coworkers have planned big weddings and gone into considerable debt for their big day.
One of them lives in a rented apartment and worries that her and her fiance will never be able to afford to buy a house! As a wedding professional, I might have a bit of a unique outlook. I am an ordained minister and I perform the wedding ceremony itself. I have done weddings from just the couple and a witness to large affairs that the couple obviously spent many thousands of dollars on. I tell them that all they need for a wedding is each other, an officiant, and their love. And a witness in most states! I think my happiest couples have weddings that reflect exactly who they are and exactly what is important to them.
When I got married 9 years ago! We knew it was OUR responsibility to pay for the wedding. I am enagaged and do not want to have a wedding. I have no dreams of wearing a white dress or standing up in front of people and being the center of attention. A justice of the peace is all I need.
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